Maile Hernandez

I feel the need for speed.

I’m SO frustrated with falling asleep at 9:30 every night.

I don’t WANT to fall asleep at 9:30.  It’s the last thing I want.  Max usually goes to sleep around 9, and I desperately want that adult time.  Either to do unglamorous tasks like take the garbage out or do the dishes, or to actually watch a little TV.

But when I sit down to watch the TV, within 20 minutes of the show I’m nodding off.  And nodding off so badly I can’t be retrieved.  Conrad has tried to rouse me and always ends up just leaving me in my chair.

Annoyed as I am to miss out on my free time, I’m also annoyed because I don’t always get to the “closing up shop” things I want to do.  Last night I noticed the garbage smelled.  I said, “We have to take out the garbage tonight.”  Then I sat in my chair to watch The Biggest Loser and was unconscious before even the first of the two eliminations.  And that’s one of my favorite shows!

It’s frustrating because I don’t even have that moment where I say, “I’m tired and I’m going to go to bed.”  I’m not conscious of it, not in on the decision that this is the end of my day.  No, I’m just starting my evening, and then - BAM! - I’ve missed out on it.

I feel powerless.  It happens night after night after night.

And this morning the entire house reeked because I never got to take out the garbage.

I guess at the moment I notice things like that, I’ll just have to take care of them because if I sit down, I could well be unconscious 20 minutes later and unable to take care of them.

I’m really mad about this.  It’s not funny.  I want my evenings back.  And I’ve tried chugging Coke Zero, I’ve tried working out in the evenings while Conrad worked at putting Max to bed (it’s an intensive process), and still I can’t make it past 9:30.  And it’s not like I get up super early.  I get up at 6 for work.

I hope I can stay conscious tonight because I’m seeing Phantom at Gammage.  I’ve seen it so many times, but I love seeing new people in the roles and seeing how they do it.  Last time I saw it was the first time I ever liked Raul.  I mean, I always thought that character was a total putz, but the guy who played him really humanized him and gave him appealing dimension.  I think it was when I saw it in Las Vegas a couple years ago.

So, we’ll see what these folks do tonight.

Big theatre week

In addition to Phantom tonight, I’m seeing Rent at the Mesa Arts Center on Friday night, and Saturday night Spelling Bee at the Phoenix Theatre.  Things had dried up for a while, now 3 shows in a week - it’s feast or famine, I tell you!

Today being Veterans’ Day I don’t have work.  It’s throwing me all out of whack.  I found myself really grumpy this morning and unable to put a finger on exactly why.  But I think it was the lack of routine.  It’s like, I have a day off so there’s a feeling of pressure, like I’m supposed to get all this great stuff done.  Or in the alternative that I should be doing something awesome.  Neither of which is so!

I’m actually more able to get things done when I have to squeeze them in between scheduled obligations, than when I’m just handed a big block of time.

It’s said “If you want something to get done, ask a busy person.”  Definitely true for me.

So guess what -

We’re moving.

Did I say that already?  Our house is being foreclosed on.  We rent it, and the landlords gave us the news last week.

It’s kind of a good thing.  It’ll force us to get out from under all this CRAP that clutters up our house and our lives.

With Max possibly heading to public school in the near future, we might want to look at districts that offer good special needs programs.  My friend Christine lives in Gilbert.  She has an autistic daughter and RAVES about their program.  So we’ll check that out, among others.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 12:34 pm and is filed under TV, homespun philosophy, rage, theatre people. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.